What are you looking forward to today?

“If it wasn’t for this group, I probably wouldn’t have even left the house today.”

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard clients tell me this, but each time makes me smile.

The first reaction I receive from clients when I mention group support is usually hesitation. They don’t feel that they can contribute, or the idea of sharing their personal stories is too overwhelming. “Can’t I get better on my own? Do you really think I’m ready?”

Sometimes it takes a few sessions before they speak up. They see that the other group members are in similar places with similar struggles, and their comfort level grows. Connections begin to grow naturally.

At some point they miss a session. When the return the following week, the other members ask, “Is everything okay? We missed you last time.” My clients start to realize not just the importance of group to their recovery but also the importance of their presence to the group.

Group becomes something that they look forward to, something that helps them get moving even on the toughest days. The connections to other group members are as valuable to their healing progress as any words said in an individual session. Many clients are more likely to do something for others before they will do something for themselves, but group gives them the opportunity to do both.

What are you looking forward to today? What makes you excited to greet the world outside of your front door? We all have days when staying in bed seems like a good idea. But before you pull the covers over your head, give these strategies a try:

• Make a list of things that you look forward to each day – your connection with friends, a healthy routine, helping others, appreciating nature’s beauty, whatever it is for you. Place your list somewhere you see every day, first thing in the morning.

• Make a commitment to show up for yourself or for someone else. Make a big note in your calendar. Think about it ahead of time and why it’s important to you.

• Keep a gratitude journal. Write down one thing you are thankful for each morning. When you are having a rough day, come back to that one thing.

• Focus on one thing at a time. Our “to do” lists can become so long that we anxiously avoid doing anything at all. Don’t try to do or think about everything at once. Put all your energy into one thing and see what happens.

• Forgive bad days. They are part of the process. But don’t feel that you need to wait until your alarm clock goes off tomorrow morning to start fresh. You don’t need a new day, just a new moment – and each moment is new.

"Mom Who Walks The Track"

Like many of you, I have a very busy schedule. I see clients, run my own business, teach fitness classes, raise three kids and maintain our family home… It doesn’t leave much time for a trip to the spa, or even eating, sleeping, and breathing.

But if I didn’t do things for myself, it wouldn’t take long for me to go crazy. I started finding small outlets that could fit into my hectic life. If I had a free hour between clients, I got a massage. I brought books and magazines to doctors’ offices to read while I waited. Instead of checking email on my phone while at my kids’ sports practices, I walking the track. And so I became known to the other parents as “Mom Who Walks The Track.”

We aren’t meant to run 24-7. Even a short self-care break can be like pressing the restart button on your computer – a lot of the glitches go away after a reboot. In the case of humans, science supports it. More and more studies are showing the benefits of mental breaks:

• Reduced Stress
• Improved Concentration
• Mood Stability
• Higher Energy Levels
• Stronger Immune Function
• Reduced Physical Tension
• Improved Quality of Life 

You don’t have to make drastic changes to your life to reap these rewards. Take a look at your schedule for today. Do you have a ten-minute break anywhere? Brainstorm some ideas of what you can do for you during those short times.

Here are some ideas to get you started, depending on how much time you have:

Just a few minutes: Meditate

Set the timer on your phone. Close your eyes and focus on your breath – each deep inhale, each slow exhale, and the feel of the breath on the tip of your nose. As other thoughts intrude into your mind, bring your focus back to your breath and let those thoughts drift away again. Perfect for sitting in the car between errands and picking up your kids.

Fifteen to thirty minutes: Practice Yoga

Pick a few easy-to-travel-with postures. You don’t necessarily need a mat or yoga pants or anything else – just yourself. Check out some of the standing poses from the Ashtanga primary series for ideas. Find a spot and let yourself go! If other people are watching, it’s only because they wish they were practicing yoga, too.

An Hour or more: Fitness Training

You can get a great full-body workout in an hour that will recharge you for the rest of the day. Schedule a session with a personal trainer to guide you or help create a routine. You can do a lot with just your body weight and a pair of good sneakers. And if you see me walking the track at your kid’s next practice, come join me!

Here at Total Health Concepts, we encourage the entire family to get involved in health and wellness. Do you have a free hour between appointments or while waiting for your child’s session to end? Schedule a massage or personal training session with our qualified staff members, or join one of our yoga and mindfulness groups. Contact us for more details.

I'm 95% there... but the 5% is keeping me down

In this high-pressure, fast-paced environment of Northern Virginia, it’s easy to focus on all of the things I’m not doing. I have three academic degrees, three beautiful children moving on to college, and a successful business – but I still beat myself up for the things I haven’t done.

I forget to give myself credit. If 95% of my life is what I have accomplished, then I dwell on the other 5%. It feels defeating and unfulfilling. My family, friends, and colleagues see it differently – why can’t I?

Worse yet, my personal judgment can hold me back from working on my next goal. When I’m feeling upset over what’s not there and bogged down with thoughts of “not enough,” I don’t have the energy to focus on the tasks ahead.

So how do I get unstuck and overcome my “5%” thinking? It starts with a few simple mindset changes that give me a new, more positive and powerful perspective.

1. Remind yourself of the 95% every single day – with no ifs, ands, or buts.

Make a list of your accomplishments and put it somewhere you see regularly – the bathroom mirror, your refrigerator door, the screensaver on your desktop.

We can be quick to qualify our successes and let the 5% creep back in:

“Yes, but it wasn’t that big of a deal…”

“If only I’d finished this part as well…”

“I didn’t really do that well on it…”

Eliminate those thoughts from your list. This is about all the things you’ve done – be proud!

2. Set smart, positive goals. 

Many of us have heard of SMART goals – specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, timely. I’d like to add one more – positive.

Instead of basing your goals around negative thoughts of not being enough, phrase them in positive ways:

“I’m going to exercise more because I love being active.”

“I’m going to study for this certification so I can help others with my new skills.”

“I’m going to make a healthy breakfast today to give myself more energy.”

As you come up with your positive goals, start adding the SMART pieces in as well. Set up small steps and track your progress.

3. Be realistic about what success looks like.

Success is hardly ever linear. Most of the time, we end up taking a very long, winding road from start to finish. Staying the course can be challenging.

It’s important to pace yourself on your journey and find ways to get back on track after a stumble:

“I need a break. Time for a massage / lunch with a friend / walk around the block / etc.”

“I forgot to get that done. That’s okay, I’ll do what I can do now.”

“I need help getting started. Let me call my friend for a fresh perspective.”

Remind yourself that sometimes you need to take a step backwards before you can move forward again.

4. There will always be a 5%.

There will always be something you haven’t done yet. We never reach the end of our “to do” lists.

Instead of trying to get everything done, select the goals that are important to you and let go of the rest:

“I’m skipping this opportunity so that I can spend time with my family.”

“Even though it will require some time and money, I’m attending this new course because I’m passionate about the subject.”

“I’m letting go of these old goals because my interests have changed.”

Only you can decide what’s the right choice for you. Trust yourself – you’ve got this!

Are You A Body Image Advocate?

5,000 advertising messages a day – that’s what each of us is exposed to on average. We are bombarded by unrealistic images of “perfect” bodies, and it’s hard to keep it from influencing our self-perceptions.

• 42% of 1^st – 3^rd graders want to be thinner
• 81% of 10 year olds are afraid of being fat
• 70% of 18 – 30 year olds don’t like their bodies
• 60% of those in middle age remain unsatisfied

Sadly these beliefs lead to unhealthy behaviors with food and exercise. It starts a negative cycle of not believing that we are enough, tying our worth to external measures and opinions, trying to change ourselves into something unrealistic, and becoming more depressed and anxious in our failure.

Social change starts one person at a time. Your thoughts, your voice, and your actions CAN make a difference. Here’s how you can become a healthy body image advocate and end the negative cycle for yourself and others.

View media images through a critical lens.

Technology has come a long way since the camera was invented. Photos aren’t expressions of reality anymore – they are full-scale productions created to express specific messages. That message is usually, “You aren’t good enough until you buy our product.” Be aware and proceed with care.

Be a role model for healthy self-care.

Change begins with you! Are you living a healthy way of life – physically, mentally, and emotionally? Challenge your own unrealistic beliefs about body and weight. What defines your self-worth? How are you positively taking care of yourself? Here are some ideas to help you love your body and your self just as you are.

• Be active in ways you enjoy. Appreciate your body’s ability to move, breath, smile, and simply be.
• Eat foods that will nourish your body and give you energy. Your body deserves the best, right? Show it some love by creating a delicious and healthy meal.
• Do things to support the healthy of your soul. Journal, read, draw or paint, meditate, dance, whatever feels good from the inside out.
• Keep a gratitude journal. Each morning or evening, write down something you are thankful for – about yourself, others, or the world around you.

Support positive media images and campaigns.

How do you talk about body image in your daily life? Talk back to the print and TV images you see, share your body image advocacy with your friends, and teach your children the difference between external validation and internal self-worth. Take the message online through social media sites, write comments and letters to organizations that use negative body images, and use your consumer purchasing power to support your views. Social change starts one person at a time.

Learn more about eating disorders, body image, and healthy food and exercise behaviors.

There are so many organizations out there that support healthy body image. Here are some places to get you started. Check them out and share what you learn with your friends and family.

• National Eating Disorders Association
• Project HEAL
• About Face
• Adios Barbie
• Eat Right, Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics
• This Girl Can

3 Steps to Break Your "Bad" Day Cycle

You’ve had a “bad” day. You arrive home drained and on edge. What’s the first thing you do? Maybe it’s comfort food – your favorite frozen dinner or a pack of Oreos. Or you zone out in front of the TV with whatever show happens to be on. You go to bed late, rush off to work in the morning, go through your day half-aware, routinely moving from one thing to the next…

You want to stop the cycle of stress, anxiety, and unhappiness – but you don’t know how.

Enter mindfulness. “Mindful-what?” you say. Isn’t that just one of those new-age buzzwords to sell things?

You aren’t wrong – mindfulness is a hot topic these days. But it’s been around for a long time, traces back to ancient philosophies and given a fresh spin by today’s self-help gurus. The central idea is to be present in the moment, using acceptance and non-judgmental thought and action to promote change and happiness.

There are lots of ways to practice mindfulness, including three practical steps to help break your cycle of “bad” days. So instead of reaching for the pint of Ben and Jerry’s, give this a quick try first.

1) Become aware of what you are feeling.

Check in with yourself – what’s bothering you right now? What uncomfortable emotions are you holding in? Here are some examples:

• Anger
• Sadness
• Frustration
• Loneliness
• Anxiety

Once you’ve identified your emotions, think about what triggered them. Are they connected to family or work issues, or do they stem from internal struggles within yourself? Be as specific as possible here – this will help with the next two steps.

Next, become aware of where you are holding and feeling your stress. Is there tension in your neck, shoulders, or back? Does your stomach feel upset? Direct your self-care efforts to alleviating those symptoms. For example, a soothing bath or massage can help ease body aches and pains.

2) Adopt the right attitude.

Take a look at your mindset. Negative self-talk can quickly derail any attempts at fixing your “bad” day. Some examples include:

• Assuming the worst
• Believing that you can’t handle it
• Judging yourself
• Fearing rejection
• Having unrealistic expectations
• Thinking in all-or-nothing patterns 

You may have to deal with these emotional roadblocks before you can take action. Try journaling or talking to someone you trust. Can you accept where you are instead of focusing on where you want to be?

Once you have the right emotional mindset, create physical readiness for change by setting healthy boundaries. You have limited time and energy. Are you using your resources in ways that align with your goals and values? Start saying “no” to things that don’t work for you. Support yourself and your new efforts through words and actions.

3) Act with small but important steps.

You have the awareness and the attitude – now it’s time to act!

Address the sources of your stress directly with calm and clear communication. All the time you’ve spent preparing with the first two steps will pay off here. Trust in what you are feeling but don’t let it guide you blindly. Accept those feelings but work to understand them as well.

Go into the situation with understanding of what you can do. You can’t control the reactions of others, but you can control your own boundaries and choices. Let go of expectations of external things out of your control. You may have to make some tough decisions, so remind yourself often your personal goals and values.

How will you keep your daily stress in check? Put together a maintenance plan of small breaks. Here are some examples:

• Deep breathing or meditation
• Short walks
• Self-massage
• Talk to someone you trust
• Time for your favorite activities

Remember that nothing changes before you do. If you want to reduce your stress, feel better physically and emotionally, and have more time and energy for the things that matter most to you, you can! Take it one small, mindful step at a time.

Practice more mindful steps with our support in our new Mindful Steps group starting March 2. Contact us to sign up today.