3 Steps to Break Your "Bad" Day Cycle

You’ve had a “bad” day. You arrive home drained and on edge. What’s the first thing you do? Maybe it’s comfort food – your favorite frozen dinner or a pack of Oreos. Or you zone out in front of the TV with whatever show happens to be on. You go to bed late, rush off to work in the morning, go through your day half-aware, routinely moving from one thing to the next…

You want to stop the cycle of stress, anxiety, and unhappiness – but you don’t know how.

Enter mindfulness. “Mindful-what?” you say. Isn’t that just one of those new-age buzzwords to sell things?

You aren’t wrong – mindfulness is a hot topic these days. But it’s been around for a long time, traces back to ancient philosophies and given a fresh spin by today’s self-help gurus. The central idea is to be present in the moment, using acceptance and non-judgmental thought and action to promote change and happiness.

There are lots of ways to practice mindfulness, including three practical steps to help break your cycle of “bad” days. So instead of reaching for the pint of Ben and Jerry’s, give this a quick try first.

1) Become aware of what you are feeling.

Check in with yourself – what’s bothering you right now? What uncomfortable emotions are you holding in? Here are some examples:

• Anger
• Sadness
• Frustration
• Loneliness
• Anxiety

Once you’ve identified your emotions, think about what triggered them. Are they connected to family or work issues, or do they stem from internal struggles within yourself? Be as specific as possible here – this will help with the next two steps.

Next, become aware of where you are holding and feeling your stress. Is there tension in your neck, shoulders, or back? Does your stomach feel upset? Direct your self-care efforts to alleviating those symptoms. For example, a soothing bath or massage can help ease body aches and pains.

2) Adopt the right attitude.

Take a look at your mindset. Negative self-talk can quickly derail any attempts at fixing your “bad” day. Some examples include:

• Assuming the worst
• Believing that you can’t handle it
• Judging yourself
• Fearing rejection
• Having unrealistic expectations
• Thinking in all-or-nothing patterns 

You may have to deal with these emotional roadblocks before you can take action. Try journaling or talking to someone you trust. Can you accept where you are instead of focusing on where you want to be?

Once you have the right emotional mindset, create physical readiness for change by setting healthy boundaries. You have limited time and energy. Are you using your resources in ways that align with your goals and values? Start saying “no” to things that don’t work for you. Support yourself and your new efforts through words and actions.

3) Act with small but important steps.

You have the awareness and the attitude – now it’s time to act!

Address the sources of your stress directly with calm and clear communication. All the time you’ve spent preparing with the first two steps will pay off here. Trust in what you are feeling but don’t let it guide you blindly. Accept those feelings but work to understand them as well.

Go into the situation with understanding of what you can do. You can’t control the reactions of others, but you can control your own boundaries and choices. Let go of expectations of external things out of your control. You may have to make some tough decisions, so remind yourself often your personal goals and values.

How will you keep your daily stress in check? Put together a maintenance plan of small breaks. Here are some examples:

• Deep breathing or meditation
• Short walks
• Self-massage
• Talk to someone you trust
• Time for your favorite activities

Remember that nothing changes before you do. If you want to reduce your stress, feel better physically and emotionally, and have more time and energy for the things that matter most to you, you can! Take it one small, mindful step at a time.

Practice more mindful steps with our support in our new Mindful Steps group starting March 2. Contact us to sign up today.