Do you feel frustrated when trying to communicate with others? Chances are you feel too passive (because you don't acknowledge your own needs) or you are too aggressive (if you "blow up" when trying to get your point across). Communicating effectively is a skill that you can learn, and it can replace your need to attack, put up defenses, or put your own needs last.
To communicate so that others can hear you, use the Assertiveness Method to spell out what you need.
Begin with "When you..." (This statement does not confront the person, but rather their actions)
Next, say "I feel...." (People are more likely to listen to your feelings than your attacks)
End with, "I need..." (This is not an accusation, but a statement of your desires).
Other tips:
*Use eye contact. Do not shut yourself or anyone else out. Eye contact means truthfulness and a willingnes to share. It also means strength.
*Speak from your body center, where your feelings originate. Do not speak form the head. Find resonance and strength -- your true voice.
It may be helpful to role play this exercise using a situation that did not turn out successfuly in the past.
To communicate so that others can hear you, use the Assertiveness Method to spell out what you need.
Begin with "When you..." (This statement does not confront the person, but rather their actions)
Next, say "I feel...." (People are more likely to listen to your feelings than your attacks)
End with, "I need..." (This is not an accusation, but a statement of your desires).
Other tips:
*Use eye contact. Do not shut yourself or anyone else out. Eye contact means truthfulness and a willingnes to share. It also means strength.
*Speak from your body center, where your feelings originate. Do not speak form the head. Find resonance and strength -- your true voice.
It may be helpful to role play this exercise using a situation that did not turn out successfuly in the past.
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