What's your kid's most annoying behavior?

What’s the most annoying behavior your kid has, and how do you respond?

As the parent of three teenagers, I know how easy it is to provide multiple answers to that question. Every kid goes through a stage that taxes your patience.

One of the most common behaviors that parents worry about is withdrawal and unresponsiveness. Sometimes we can chalk it up to annoying teenage rebellion. But in this high-pressure world we live in, that behavior can also be a red flag that their child is struggling with something serious.

So how do you respond?

Our responses as parents generally fall into three categories:

A) Get Angry

Kids can really push our buttons. We’ve all had moments when we’ve lost our patience and wanted to yell. Although it might feel good to vent out our frustrations, it doesn’t provide an effective solution to our kids’ behavior.

B) Walk Away

If we feel like we can’t deal with the issue, we may be tempted to ignore it and hope it fixes itself. It’s easier to shut down and pretend that things are okay than it is to face a situation that seems overwhelming.

C) Start Talking

Parenting is one of the biggest and scariest adventures of our lives. Our kids have to learn so many things and there are so many problems they might experience. Maybe the best place to start is to just calmly ask, “What’s up?”

It’s not unusual for parents to go through all of these reactions multiple times even in the course of a single day. The most effective responses are the ones that provide your child with a sense of safety and acceptance.

Whether their most annoying behavior is something small like never making the bed or leaving dirty dishes around, or it’s something more concerning like withdrawal or defensiveness, something prompted the behavior to begin. If we can stay calm and encourage our kids to be open with their thoughts and feelings, eventually the real issues come out.

Being a parent is a learning process. Patience and persistence are essential, both with our kids and with ourselves. Think again about your answer to the opening question. How have you responded to your kid’s behavior this week? What can you do to encourage open communication?

Are you ready to learn more skills to help your child succeed?

Coming soon, we will start a new “Strong Supportive Parents” group for parents of children of all ages. In just 8 weekly sessions, parents will learn supportive skills including:

• Communication skills to break down defensiveness and withdrawal
• Connection skills to build their child’s self-esteem and confidence
• Commitment skills to promote healthy behaviors and choices 

Contact us to learn more.